Between friends: Forgiveness, unforgiveness, and wrongdoing in same-sex friendships

Abstract

Friendships fulfill needs for intimacy, belonging, and support and yet have rarely been the focus of forgiveness research. In this study, we explored forgiveness, unforgiveness, and young adults’ experiences of transgressions in same-sex friendships ( N = 407). Our results suggest that, although forgiveness and unforgiveness share important antecedents (e.g., apology status, perceived remorse, and barriers to forgiveness), they are nevertheless empirically distinct constructs, both worthy of further investigation in friendships. For example, unforgiveness predicted unique variance in current friendship status controlling for forgiveness. We discuss several lessons learned from our study about the nature of responses to wrongdoing among same-sex friends (e.g., even when forgiven, offenses may cause longstanding changes in people’s views of their offending friends).