Learning Morality in Peer Conflict

Abstract

This article discusses the narratives of Dutch schoolchildren from varied cultural-ethnic backgrounds discussing experiences of being betrayed by a friend, and the lessons they learned from the experience. In line with earlier social constructivist research in western societies, the authors found that peers and friends acted as highly emotional forums for moral learning. Revealing intimate information led to awareness of two moral issues: the issue of norms of ‘true’ friendship and the issue of the dilemma between conforming to group norms and asserting personal opinions. To develop a personal morality in the context of Dutch schools, the children needed trustworthy friends with whom to share intimate information in order to protect them from the peer group pressure to conform. Although both girls and boys constructed shared norms of real friendship and conformed to group norms to avoid being teased, disclosing intimate information seemed to evoke more emotional chaos in girls than it did in boys