Aged 70 and still a child: complexities, strains and gains of older children caring for their (near) centenarian mothers

Abstract

Abstract Background Longer lives increase the possibility of caring duties, which means that older adults looking after their ageing parents—as well as their own partners—is becoming an increasingly common scenario in developed countries. Objective To explore the caregiving demands of very old caregiving dyads and the experience of maintaining the identity of a child at such an advanced age. Design Qualitative study. Subjects 15 participants (four males), all aged 70 or over and caring for their mothers, aged between 95 and 105 years old. Methods Semi-structured interviews analysed thematically. Results Caregivers are willing to care for their mothers ‘until death tears them apart’, despite the double strains they face, that is more self-limitations and added care receiver need. On a positive side, they feel ‘happy, thankful and proud’ for still having their mothers alive. They also describe that maintaining the identity of a child at such an advanced age was somewhat unthought of and unexpected but an important source of pride. Conclusions These findings suggest that these oldest-old caregiving dyads are characterised by a relationship shaped by strong feelings of extended filial love, constituting a family feature that needs further understanding. Findings also underscore the challenges these carers face in dealing with several agents (secondary caregivers) and entities in the care provision.