Gender Identity Revisited among Gender‐Open Parents: New Perspectives from Classical Models of the Self

Abstract

As transgender and non‐binary (TNB) identities grow more visible in Western culture, some parents seek to ensure their children's gender self‐determination versus assuming their gender from birth. Such “gender‐open parenting” practices, however, can impact the parents' gender as much as the children's. Using interview data and thematic analysis from a larger project on gender‐open parenting, we examine a sub‐group of parents who started questioning their own gender identity after embarking on the practice. Parents also expressed concerns, however, about whether they were gender‐variant or non‐binary “enough” to claim a new label, echoing a growing literature on the limits of “transnormativity” and conventional identity development frameworks for encapsulating TNB experience. Instead of these frameworks, we turn to classical sociological models of the self to conceptualize parents' gender journeys, which emphasize the reflective, interactional processes of self‐development. Under these models, parents' identities are re‐born from the parenting work itself. We discuss the findings' implications for expanding understandings of gender identity throughout the life course, as well as for popular discourse and debates about who “counts” as TNB or gender‐variant in today's culture.