“I’m trying to take the lead from my child”: experiences Parenting Young Nonbinary Children

Abstract

Abstract Background While research has emphasized the importance of parental support for LGBTQIA + youth wellbeing, there remains limited understanding of parental experiences with nonbinary children, particularly those prepubescent. This study aimed to explore how parents of nonbinary children ages 5–8 learn to support their child’s identity, examining initial reactions, emotional processes, supportive behaviors, societal responses, and associated challenges and rewards. Methods A qualitative study was conducted using Reflexive Thematic Analysis (RTA) within a framework of ontological relativism and epistemological constructivism. Nine parents of nonbinary children aged 5–8 from the Northeastern United States participated in semi-structured interviews lasting 60–80 min. Questions explored various aspects of parenting nonbinary children, including the child’s gender identity, parental feelings, experiences sharing the child’s identity, and challenges and rewards of raising a gender-diverse child. The research team, comprising individuals who identify as trans, genderqueer, and nonbinary, employed collaborative coding and thematic development. Results Four main themes were constructed: (1) Parents hear and support their child’s nonbinary identity, this theme highlights immediate acceptance and efforts parents make to affirm their child’s gender; (2) Parents learn about ways cisnormative society harms their child, here, parents recognize the societal pressures and barriers their children face; (3) Parents take significant and proactive steps to affirm their child, this theme documents the actions parents take to support their child in environments that invalidate their identity; and (4) Gender is just one aspect of who my child is, this theme reflects on parental insights of gender as just one part of their child’s overall personhood. Conclusions This study provides insights into the experiences of parents supporting young nonbinary children, emphasizing the importance of affirming expressed identity, the parent-child relationship, and proactive support in navigating cisnormative societal structures. Findings highlight the transformative experience of parenting nonbinary children, with parents often challenging their own preconceptions of gender and coming to more nuanced understandings. These results can inform supportive interventions and policies for nonbinary children and their families, and we hope to contribute to a growing body of research that shifts narratives towards joy, resilience, and community in trans and nonbinary experiences.