The Fragile Spell of Desire: A Functional Perspective on Changes in Sexual Desire Across Relationship Development

Abstract

The sexual behavioral system evolved to motivate reproductive acts by arousing sexual desire. Building on the idea that this system has also been “exploited” by evolutionary processes to promote enduring bonds between romantic partners, the present article introduces an integrative model that delineates the functional significance of sexual desire in relationship formation and maintenance. This model explains why individuals’ sexual reaction to their partner is context-dependent, clarifying how changes in the nature of interdependence over the course of relationships alter the ways in which specific predictors of sexual desire tend to promote (or inhibit) desire and thereby affect relationship depth and stability. The model postulates that although desire influences the development of attachment bonds, the contribution that it makes varies over the course of relationships. The model also provides new insight regarding fundamental but unresolved issues in human sexuality, such as the vulnerability of sexual desire and the desire-intimacy paradox.