The Invisible Harm of Downplaying a Romantic Partner’s Aggression

Abstract

Nonphysical forms of partner aggression are common and more harmful than is widely recognized. Such aggression does not leave physical marks but nonetheless predicts invisible harm, including unhappiness and psychological distress. Most individuals do not end their relationship the moment a partner becomes aggressive. Instead they may deny, minimize, or justify the aggression, particularly when they are strongly committed to their relationship. Perceptions that downplay a partner’s aggression may protect and prolong a relationship, putting individuals at risk for greater harm. This article presents a model of the causes and consequences of downplaying partner aggression and describes the relevance of commitment for understanding aggression-related perceptions and interventions.