“Please Let It Stop”: Fear, Anxiety, and Uncertainty on the Neoliberal Tenure Track

Abstract

I have anxiety and I am not alone, although I have felt that way. Anxiety and depression are mental health issues that impact millions of individuals in our society. While discussions about mental health are improving, insofar as conversations are more frequent particularly during the 2020 to 2021 Coronavirus pandemic, more voices are needed to tell their stories of mental health and actions need to be taken to address systemic issues in a multitude of contexts. My context is that of a tenure-track middle-class white privileged male who began an intense battle with anxiety while undertaking a guest professorship in a foreign country. The autoethnographic narrative presented here is a composition of vignettes from my struggle with anxiety in the 4th and 5th tenure track years. Throughout, I attempt to openly present my struggles and conclude by proposing ways in higher education can aid faculty, staff, and students in creating a better structure.