Temporalities of Friendship: Adults’ Friends in Everyday Family Life and Beyond

Abstract

This study examines how adults’ close friendships are lived using different temporalities. The modern ideal of friendship underlining individual choice and affinity is challenged by marriage and family. Using a temporal approach, I aim to grasp the variety of experiences of individuals during the early years of marriage. Drawing from qualitative interviews with 32 individuals forming 16 couples, I distinguished between three temporalities of friendship: (1) friendship here and now; (2) friendship in cyclical time; and (3) friendship based on the past and revived by timeless moments. I argue that, while some friendships entangle everyday family practices, other friendships are lived among two individuals, involving intimacy as outlined by Simmel, and simultaneously challenging the experience of linear time. This study contributes to an understanding of how friendships are lived within and beyond the family, and, furthermore, to a wider sociological discussion on the use of temporality in analysing social life.