Gender uncoupled: Asexual people making sense of high school sex talk

Abstract

Sociologists have documented sex talk as a crucial mechanism in the reproduction of heteronormativity in schools. In this highly sexualized context, how did asexual people make sense of sex talk? Drawing upon 21 retrospective interviews with asexual adults (between 18 and 31 years of age), I examined their accounts of sex talk in high school. Contrary to expectation, most of my respondents did not link sex talk to issues of masculinity/femininity, but instead framed it as about discovery of asexual identity, friendship, immaturity and inappropriate conduct, and/or simply meaningless noise. I suggest that the diverse range of gender ideologies and abundance of gender-coded symbols in our society enabled many respondents to assert asexuality-compatible femininities/masculinities, foreclose potential gender dilemmas, and retain a sense of security in their gender subjectivity. While the diverse narratives of sex talk encounters remind sociologists to appreciate asexual people’s heterogenous experiences, the possibility of subjectively degendering sex talk and desexualizing gender challenges sociologists to adopt a multidimensional approach to understand gendered sexuality.