Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Queer Grandchildren’s Disclosure Process With Grandparents

Abstract

Little is known about how the sexual orientation of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or queer (GLBQ) young adults emerges in their relationships with grandparents. This article explores grandchildren’s experiences with disclosing their sexual orientation to grandparents using qualitative interviews with 28 grandchildren whose grandparents know about their GLBQ sexual orientation. Findings are contextualized using family systems theory as I argue that grandchildren’s motivations to disclose their sexual orientation mirrors previous findings that having a close relationship or having grandparents demonstrate less conservative values motivates grandchildren’s interest in disclosure to grandparents. However, grandchildren’s accounts also demonstrate how their disclosure experiences are shaped by other factors, such as the salience of their sexual orientation in their relationship or the desire to protect grandparents from the negative repercussions of disclosure. Findings indicate that parents and other family members, and the family system more generally, are woven into GLBQ grandchildren’s disclosure experiences. As such, coming out may be usefully contextualized as a family systems issue.