Compromising Positions

Abstract

Single men are theoretically free to pursue as many sexual partners as they like, but for adult single men maturity requires that they do not. This article makes explicit that displays of heterosexuality and their link to hegemonic masculinity change over time. Analyzing twenty-six face-to-face interviews with never-married and divorced middle-aged, heterosexual, white men, this article focuses specifically on how men claim a mature heterosexual identity outside the institution of marriage. Men believe that in one’s twenties a man should get “laid all the time” but beginning in his mid-thirties he should begin to “turn away from meaningless things.” Thus, the men in this study rely on “manhood acts” to signify a masculine self that changes over the life course. The author argues that the narrative men tell emerges as a compensatory manhood act—a mechanism to resist exploitation and defy the negative cultural narrative about them—and considers whether or not it is effective.