My Love is Hurting: The Meaning Spouses Attribute to Their Loved Ones’ Pain during Palliative Care

Abstract

The purpose of this qualitative study was to develop our knowledge of the pain experiences of family members by addressing the meaning of cancer pain to the spouse of a patient receiving palliative care. In particular, this study explored factors associated with the meanings the spouses ascribe to the experience of pain during palliative care and whether the meanings the patients attributed to pain were similar to the meanings held by the spouse. Two different states emerged, the “in-pain state” and the “out of pain state”. The spouses described feelings of helplessness, fear, and unfairness when witnessing their loved one in pain. Once the pain had been controlled, spouses described feelings of peace and relaxation, and felt this meant that the couple could return to their old routines because their spouse was still alive. It was discovered that the meanings placed on the cancer pain differed for the spouse and the patient, with the spouse focusing on future consequences. Implications and suggestions for nursing practice and future research are proposed.