On Being an Ill Parent

Abstract

Limited research and clinical attention has been paid to the experience of being an ill parent, so that parents are given little support in preparing for the effect their illness might have on their children. In this article, we explore how parents manage being a patient and a parent at the same time, focusing on three themes which have emerged: parental fears that illness renders them less fit to meet the needs of their children; dilemmas about balancing self-care with the care of others; and how the illness can evoke feelings that relate to previous trauma, influencing their responses to their children in the present. We highlight how these issues do not happen in isolation, but in the context of ongoing intimate, family relationships. We suggest that if they are not addressed, parents and children are left unprepared to meet the demands which illness poses. Finally, we examine the implications for clinical work in this area.