“I Wish he Were Dead.” The Experience of Loss among Young Arab-Bedouin Women in Polygamous Families

Abstract

This article presents the sense of loss of young Arab-Bedouin women in Israel who grew up in polygamous families. Polygamy is widespread in Israel's Arab-Bedouin population, although state law explicitly prohibits it. Tradition and custom allow a man to marry more than one woman, and Islam does not forbid it. Polygamy has many ramifications for women, children, and society in general. The data were gathered in semi-structured, in-depth interviews with 30 young women, ages 18 to 22, whose fathers took a second wife in the last five years and moved to a separate home with the new wife. The women interviewed were so distressed they sought therapeutic help. Among the many findings is the profound sense of loss: of fathering, of love and attention, and of family. Intersectionality theory was used to explain the particular vulnerability of these young women. Israel has no targeted treatment programs or interventions for adolescent girls in polygamous families, and this may harm their chances of successfully negotiating adolescence. Targeted treatment is recommended. The findings apply to social work in any country where polygamy exists.