Regretted Messages

Abstract

This study investigates the cognitive processes that precede and follow the saying of a regretted message. Participants recalled and described real-life regretted messages. Three cognitive antecedents to saying such messages were investigated: competing demands on capacity, the situated importance of secondary goals, and goals realized by the messages. Six reasons for reflecting on regretted messages were measured. Results showed the most frequently reported competing demands on capacity to be stress, frustration, anger, and having a lot on one’s mind. The goals realized most often by regretted messages were expressing one’s true feelings, providing information, correcting a hearer’s behavior, and warning/threatening a hearer. For messages conflicting with impression and relationship maintenance goals, the situated importance of the goals positively predicted the seriousness of the goal conflict. Reflection on regretted messages focused most frequently on repairing the relationship, formulating a rule to avoid a recurrence, and reducing dissonance.