Making friends with the family: A fresh look at coming out

Abstract

There is limited in-depth theorisation of positive coming-out experiences within families of origin. This is especially true for diasporic South Asian communities living in majority Anglophone contexts. The article draws on a study of 15 gay men of South Asian descent, in Australia, to analyse how coming out can lead to positive developments in family relations, even if they exist alongside negativity about one's sexuality. Coming out can introduce greater intimacy into family attachments, which at times turns family members into friends, and intimacy and friendship might serve as a reason for coming out in the first place. These processes strengthen familial ties, and data illustrates that concepts such as intimacy, friendship, and suffusion, can be used to conceptualise positive outcomes. We recommend further exploration of such stories in diasporic South Asian communities, to challenge the negativity often associated with this group in relation to their same-sex-attracted kin.