Wanting Sex and Wanting to Wait: Young Adults' Accounts of Sexual Messages from First Significant Dating Partners

Abstract

This study provided a qualitative analysis of 79 young adults' descriptions of sexual and relational messages they received from their first significant dating partner. For both men and women, the most frequent theme concerned the negotiation of first sexual intercourse with that partner; other themes di fered by gender. Women reported receiving messages from male partners that indicated a high interest in sexual activity as well as pressure to engage in sexual activity. Women's responses to these messages often involved giving in to unwanted sexual activity. Men reported receiving messages from female partners concerning setting sexual boundaries; they responded to these messages with both acceptance and frustration. Accounts of first significant dating relationships also included discussions of having learned from these relationships, suggesting that experiences with first significant dating partners may have lasting sexual and relational influences. These results suggest the presence of complementary gendered messages that contribute to the reproduction of compulsory heterosexuality, gendered power imbalances, and sexual coercion.