Sequences in Separation: A Framework for Investigating Endings of the Personal (Romantic) Relationship

Abstract

A multi-parameter framework is proposed for examining `break-ups' of the pre-marital romantic dyad. The model delineates five stages in dissolution: Discovery of Dissatisfaction (D), Exposure (E), Negotiation (N), Resolution (R) and Transformation (T). Termination scenarios may be specified by Stage, Operator, Content and Latency parameters. Utility of the framework is explored in a retrospective study of 112 break-ups. Subjects reporting (E) and (N) Stages (engagement on issues) view their relationships as more intense and enduring and themselves as more intimate with and similar to their partners than subjects reporting omission of these stages. The time span of termination (D to T) is shown to correlate positively with attraction towards and agreement with partner, as well as with loneliness and fear during dissolution. Patterns of decision (at R) and follow-through (at T) are linked to perceived qualities of the dyad: two scenarios, the `scale-down' and the `inconsistent break', are characterized by high strength of the couple bond and considerable feelings of confusion during the termination period.