Attachment security, divorce, parental estrangement, and reconciliation

Abstract

While most studies have attempted to identify the causes and consequences of adult children’s estrangement from their parents, this study focuses on a relatively unexplored topic -- factors associated with family relationships in which the adult child and parents reconcile after a period of estrangement. An online survey of 1360 parents who had experienced an estrangement from their adult child provided data concerning three constructs: (a) whether the parents were now still married, remarried, or divorced, (b) secure attachment ratings of self, other parent, and child, from the perspective of the responding parent, and (c) whether the estrangement was continuing or there had been a reconciliation. Parents who were still married described all family members as having a more secure model of attachment than did remarried or divorced parents. Also, continuous ratings of security of attachment by parents in families that had resolved the estrangement were higher than ratings by parents in which the estrangement was continuing. Two exploratory path models tested alternative hypotheses about how marital status and perceived security of attachment combined to differentiate between families in which the adult child reconciled, and families in which the adult child remained estranged. Model A did not find an indirect path leading from attachment security to marital status to reconciliation. Model B found a statistically significant indirect path leading from parents remaining married to higher levels of attachment security in their ratings of family members, to reconciliation rather than continued estrangement of the parent–child relationship. With data obtained at a single point in time, this study represents a first step toward exploring continuity or discontinuity in the relationship between the parents and between the parents and their adult child. Directions for further research and implications for clinical intervention to promote reconciliation are discussed.