From Divorce to Friendship: A Study of Dialectic Relationship Development

Abstract

This paper illustrates a dialectic perspective of relationship development, using a case study of a divorced couple who have become friends. This perspective suggests that relationships oscillate between opposites (stability/changes, intimacy/detachment), and exhibit unity of opposites (including both stability/change, intimacy/detachment). This contrasts with homeostatically based views which suggest that relationships either move towards and maintain stable levels of intimacy or terminate. Episode analysis of three recounted `scenes' from the couple's relationship traces their development from an intolerable marriage to a compatible post-divorce friendship. Theoretical implications for the study of evolving relationships are discussed.