Holding on and letting go: Memory, nostalgia, and effects of virtual possession management practices on post-breakup adjustment

Abstract

When people end their relationships, they must choose which parts of the relationship to remember and forget as they prepare themselves for future partners. This memory process is complicated by the recordability and permanence of mediated messages because individuals must actively curate their virtual possessions—such as pictures with a previous partner or online relationship statuses. Using the relational dissolution model framework, this study investigated the behaviors people use online to manage the end of their relationships and how these choices may influence the way they adjust to the breakup. College students ( N = 234) were surveyed to examine how their keeping and deleting of virtual possessions are related to their post-breakup adjustment. Results suggest that keeping virtual possessions negatively relates to post-breakup adjustment. Participants who were more nostalgic were more likely to keep virtual possessions following a breakup, which mediated the relationship between nostalgia and post-breakup adjustment. The implications show how the persistence of mediated possessions has the potential to affect the breakup process as people struggle to manage their relational memories.