Relationship between Exspouses: Individual and Dyadic Perspectives

Abstract

The ex-spousal relationship is one which is not frequently researched, in part because of the methodological difficulties inherent to interviewing both ex-spouses. In this exploratory report on 85 ex-couples, we found an impressive level of agreement concerning the normative aspects of the ex-spousal relationship. At the behavioral level, no matter how the data were analysed, post-marital harmony was a minority phenomenon. Contacts between ex-spouses were rare. One-third of ex-spouses with children never saw each other. Lower-SES persons were less likely to fulfill their co-parental role than were higher-SES persons. Feelings for the ex-spouse were affected by the presence of children. We also examined perceptions of the ex-spouses' feelings for self. We compared ex-couples congruent in terms of feelings with non-congruent ex-couples. Only 13 percent of the ex-spouses were congruent on friendliness. They were then compared with ex-spouses congruent on dislike. We conclude with a discussion of the concept of successful divorces and present hypotheses for larger-scale studies.