Liking Some Things (in Some People) more than Others: Partner Preferences in Romantic Relationships and Friendships

Abstract

The present investigation examined the degree to which various characteristics are desired in five types of relational partners. Men and women (N = 700) indicated their preferences for several attributes in either a casual sex partner, dating partner, marriage partner, same-sex friend, or opposite-sex friend (randomly assigned). Participants also indicated how important it was to obtain a partner with the desired level of each attribute. Although participants most preferred warmth and kindness, expressivity and openness, and a good sense of humor across relationship types, they clearly distinguished between romantic/sexual relationships and friendships. Specifically, participants preferred (and felt that it was more important to obtain) higher levels of many desirable characteristics - including physical attractiveness, social status attributes, and disposition or personality traits (e.g., warmth, expressiveness, humor, intelligence) - in a romantic/sexual partner than in a friend. Participants also differentiated between same-sex and opposite-sex friend- ships. In general, they preferred higher levels of and/or believed it was more important to obtain physical attractive- ness, social status, and dispositional/personality attributes from opposite-sex friends than from same-sex friends. To at least some degree, men's preferences were associated with the number of others they believed were available for a particular type of relationship; women's preferences generally were associated with perceptions of their own desirability as a partner.