Are you tired of “us?” Accuracy and bias in couples’ perceptions of relational boredom

Abstract

Relational boredom is an important cognitive-emotional experience that is understudied in the relationship maintenance literature. In three dyadic studies, we investigated accuracy and bias in partners’ perceptions of each other’s relational boredom, and how accurate and biased boredom perceptions were associated with relationship quality. Results revealed that, overall, partners tended to overestimate—but accurately track—each other’s relational boredom across the features that comprise relational boredom and across time. Additionally, when people accurately perceived their partner experiencing high levels of boredom, they reported lower relationship quality; in all other cases, one’s own relationship quality was preserved. Furthermore, when people accurately perceived their partner experiencing high levels of boredom, their partner also reported lower relationship quality, while the partner’s relationship quality was consistently preserved when the perceiver was accurate at low levels of boredom or overestimated. These findings have important implications for how couples navigate boredom and maintain long-term relationships.