Why LGBTQ Adults Keep Ambivalent Ties with Parents: Theorizing “Solidarity Rationales”

Abstract

AbstractMany LGBTQ adults have ongoing relationships with their parents that are ambivalent, typified by both solidarity (e.g., frequent contact, emotional or financial exchange) as well as conflict (e.g., parents’ heterosexism and cissexism). Yet, why LGBTQ people remain in—rather than end—their ambivalent intergenerational ties is under explored. We analyze qualitative in-depth interview data with 76 LGBTQ adults to answer this question. We find that LGBTQ adult children deploy narratives that privilege intergenerational solidarity over strain—what we call “solidarity rationales”— to explain why they remain in their ambivalent intergenerational ties. Four solidarity rationales were identified: 1) closeness and love, 2) parental growth, 3) the unique parent-child role, and 4) the importance of parental resources. Identifying LGBTQ adults’ solidarity rationales pulls back the curtain on the compulsory social forces driving persistent intergenerational relationships. This study also advances our thinking about how socially marginalized people cope with complex social ties that include interpersonal discrimination and stigma.