Abstract
Background: Many past and ongoing conflicts in the world are associated with memories. The role of emphatic memories is however often neglected in conflict solving. Therefore, this narrative review gives a short introduction to the phenomenon of emphatic memories and implications for counteracting dysfunctional effects of emphatic memories. Summary: Memory has two connotations. One is remembering and knowing (I can remember when I got married) and on the other is reminding and emphasizing memories (I remind my partner of our wedding day). Memories are less a report on the past but result of current emotions and motives. Emphatic memories serve for self-portrayal and distinction from others, self-exculpation, accusation of others, justification of claims. They are regularly reproachful, have an aggressive character, and are distorted and pseudologic. This is also true on a societal level, as memories are used for defining social groups, and by this for political purposes, in order to juxtapose one group against the other. If memories are revoked, they are regularly accompanied with the very emotions, which were associated with the past event. Corresponding behavior is motivated. Many people suffer from memories and associated emotions and dysfunctional behavior, as is well described in the context of post-traumatic stress disorders. Also, social groups can as a whole suffer from negative emotions because of memories, which may go back up to thousand years. To ensure that memories do not adversely affect individuals and social groups, they should best be forgotten, or at least rescripted, in a way that they are disentangled from negative emotions and motives. An important psychological process in this regard is wisdom and forgiveness, which must not be confused with understanding, justification, tolerating, or reconciliation. Wisdom and forgiveness allow persons to close the books, act self-determined, find freedom from external events, and end suffering because of the past. It is a rational and emotional act. Key Messages: Emphatic memories can cause that individuals and groups do not find peace and persistently provoke new conflicts. Internal and interactional peace can be found if memories are let alone and fade away. Forgiveness and wisdom describe avenues to let dysfunctional memories go.