1. The actual eulogy for my father titled “He Fell Down” is included in Bryant K. Alexander (2006). “‘Were/Are, Fort/Da’: The Eulogy as Constitutive (Auto)biography (or Traveling to Coalesce a Public Memory).” In Performing Black Masculinity: Race, Culture, and Queer Identity. Lanham, MD: AltaMira Press, pp. 161–187.
2. The second epigram is from a short story by Louis Erdich (2002, p. 5) titled, “Shamengwa.” In seeking answers about my father this text reminds me of the complicated family histories that always unknowingly inform our own personal histories. The role of water and the pond in this story serve as a source of renewal and remembrance as I play with the metaphor of wake. “Shamengwa” was written by Louis Erdrich, posted 25 November 2002 (
www.newyorker.com
), republished in Walter Mosley and Katrina Kenison (Eds) (2003). The Best American Short Stories. New York: Houghton Mifflin, pp. 173–188.
3. See Bryant K. Alexander (2000). “Skin Flint (or The Garbage Man’s Kid): A Generative Autobiographical Performance.” Special Issue: The Personal and Political in Solo Performance. Text and Performance Quarterly, 20: 97–114.
4. My brother, Nathaniel Patrick Alexander, died from AIDS in October 1994. I write about the occasion of this loss in a piece called “Standing at the Crossroads,” Callaloo, 22 (2): 343–345, 1999. The piece was republished in Edwidge Danticat (Ed.) (2000). Beacon Best 2000: Best Writing of Men and Women of All Colors. Boston, MA: Beacon Press, pp. 72–75.
5. See Bryant K. Alexander (2004). “Black Skin/White Masks: The Performative Sustainability of Whiteness (with Apologies to Frantz Fanon),” Qualitative Inquiry, 10 (5): 647–672.