‘It’s the hope that kills you’: Challenging cisheteropatriarchal possibilities of romance, friendship and care in Ted Lasso

Abstract

Leading up to the Ted Lasso (2020–23) series finale in May 2023, fans anticipated whether various white, heterosexual romantic relationships on the show would come to fruition. When the finale finally aired, there was considerable disappointment at the lack of romantic conclusions for their characters, rather than satisfaction in the friendships that were developed over the show’s three seasons. Yet, queer and feminist theorizations of friendship position friendship as central to the human experience and valuable in analysing the social impacts of cisheteropatriarchal norms. In our analysis of social media posts, we employ feminist queer analysis to critically examine the interplay between the show’s portrayal of friendship and fans’ reactions to these plotlines that were shaped by cisheteronormative imaginaries of what types of relationships we should expect in television while the show defied romantic comedy tropes to focus on friendship. We argue that the romance-focused fan reactions obstructed the full spectrum of possible relationships, platonic and romantic, that were developed throughout the show’s run. When taken together, these relationships deepen our understanding of the ways that Ted Lasso can be taken as an illustration of the importance of friendship and care in our everyday lives, which should be treated with the same gravity as romantic relationships in popular culture.