Silence after suicide: A phenomenological study of young men's experience of losing a close male friend

Abstract

<p>Losing a close friend to suicide can significantly increase the risk of dysfunction, depression and suicide in young people. Previous studies of suicide bereavement have focused on parents, parentally-bereaved children, young adolescents’ experiences of peer suicide and female college-students. A paucity of qualitative research exists that examines young men’s experiences of suicide bereavement. This lack of research has meant that their grief may go unnoticed, be minimized, or even misunderstood.  The purpose of this research was to explore the experiences of eight young New Zealand men (aged 17-25 years) who lost a close male friend to suicide. Repeated in-depth phenomenological interviews were used to gain new insights into the conceptualisation of this event in the young men’s lives through an exploration of their experiences. Interviews were audio recorded and transcribed for analysis. The inductive, descriptive approach of the phenomenological method was used to explore and describe the essence of their lived experience and led to seven themes: Being gutted, stoicism, grieving in silence, being silenced, breaking the silence, being in silence and analytic silence. The overarching essence of their experience and the phenomenon was silence. The silence the men experienced after suicide was ubiquitous.   The findings suggest losing a close male friend to suicide implicates men to suffer, grieve, live through and transform in silence. Participants experienced four types of silence: personal, private, public and analytic silence. The men were gutted and personally unable to talk about their experience. They chose to keep quiet, be stoical, suppress their emotions and keep their grief private. They grieved in silence and were silenced by others. They broke their silence with people they could trust and who provided presence support and care. They sought quiet spaces where they could reconnect, reflect on their experience. Their navigation of silence fostered new values, priorities and identities, acceptance of their loss and helped them move on with their lives. This study has brought new understandings of men’s experiences of suicide bereavement and silence. Their experience suggests that health professionals, families/whānau and friends need to learn to see, listen to and interpret the silence of men in order to better understand their experience and needs for care and support. Recommendations are made for intervention, health care practice and future research.</p>