Exploring the lived experiences of mothers who identify with ‘gender disappointment’

Abstract

In a western context, little is known about the term ‘gender disappointment’, which describes feelings of despair around not having a child of the desired sex. This study aimed to explore the lived experiences of British women who identify with the concept. Six mothers with only sons, who also desired a daughter, participated in a semi-structured interview via an online platform. An interpretative phenomenological analysis identified themes related to pity, societal expectations of unfulfillment, and concerns relating to the future mother-son relationship, feelings of guilt and shame, barriers to seeking help and the benefits of talking. The study concludes that there is a need for greater awareness of gender disappointment and the negative impact it has on maternal wellbeing. In addition, mothers who identify with gender disappointment would benefit from support from health visitors to enable them to access the help they need.