Through Thick and Thin: The Meaning of Dementia for the Intimacy of Ageing Couples

Abstract

As the population ages, the number of people with dementia increases. An emerging body of research is focusing on living with dementia and understanding the experience of caring and the care burden. There is much less research on the meaning of dementia from the perspective of an older couple’s spousal relationship and related intimacy. This qualitative study explores the meanings of emotional and physical intimacy and the changes brought by dementia in the couplehood of persons with dementia and their spousal carers. The data comprise semi-structured interviews with 35 persons. The interviews were analysed using inductive qualitative content analysis. Four themes describing the meanings of relational intimacy were identified: intimacy as a striving force, intimacy turning into worrisome behaviour, intimacy as physical and emotional dependency, and intimacy turning into one-sided caring for a partner. Dementia changes the intimate relationship in many ways, but shared affection and long-term partnership help maintain the spousal relationship. While dementia may bring about conflicts and behavioural challenges in an intimate relationship, the couple’s shared intimacy and a sense of responsibility for one another may serve as a resource and support the continuity of couplehood.