Identifying points for therapeutic intervention from the lived experiences of people seeking help for retroactive jealousy

Abstract

AbstractBackground and AimsRetroactive jealousy is an unhealthy interest in a partner's romantic/sexual history that has a detrimental effect on sufferers and relationships. Significant numbers of people seek therapeutic help for retroactive jealousy each year, but no research has used their lived experiences to identify potential therapeutic interventions. That was the aim of this research.MethodsSeven adults (21–43 years) who had sought help for retroactive jealousy were interviewed about their experiences. Participants' accounts were analysed with reflexive thematic analysis, and findings were used to identify potential therapeutic interventions.FindingsThree main themes represented participants' experiences. Fears threaten hope and security involved negative self‐comparisons with past rivals, a sense of one's partner and the relationship losing value and of feeling wronged. Feeling compelled to know about the past involved one's mind as a creative generator of distress and feeling compelled to seek reassurance but making things worse. Feeling split and out of control involved feeling like a devil was on one's shoulder and having retroactive jealousy as a constant background to relational life.ImplicationsTherapeutic guidance for change and growth can be directed at participants' desires to forge a special romantic relationship, to achieve a more stable sense of self, and to act consistently with their underlying values and not in response to their visceral fears. We offer suggestions for psychoeducation regarding characteristics of healthy relationships, for working to move from insecure to secure responses, and for integrating cognitive defusion and implementation intentions to enhance agency.