Ways of “showing love” in an intimate relationship – similarities and differences between women’s and men’s interactions

Abstract

The aim of the article is to present the results of qualitative research into the ways women and men show love in heterosexual relationships and to indicate gender similarities and differences in this area. The analysis is based on references to traditional and modern models of femininity and masculinity. The respondents’ opinions were divided into two main areas – widely defined communication (gestures of tenderness, emotional support, behavior during misunderstandings) and specific activities (helping perform household duties or other activities for the partner, buying gifts, organizing free time, initiating sex). The analysis of the empirical material showed the interpenetration of patriarchal and modern models of femininity and masculinity in how women and men behave lovingly towards their partners. Both men and women draw inspiration from the repertoire of behaviors, as well as from traditional masculinity and femininity, evolving towards a modern model of femininity and masculinity that becomes more androgynous. In this way, they definitely expand the ways they show love, combining the more emotional, feminine ways with the more active, more traditionally “masculine” ones.