Holy Grail or nice option: The meaning of penile-vaginal intercourse in “unconsummated” relationships

Abstract

Research to date on heterosexual couples that have never been able to engage in penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI) has been conducted almost exclusively outside of Canada and the United States and is primarily problem-focused, examining biomedical treatments of sexual dysfunction that cause the inability to have PVI (or unconsummated marriage as it is referred to in the literature). Almost nothing is known about the experience of the individuals affected by this phenomenon. This study used a phenomenological approach to answer the question: what is the lived experience of individuals in heterosexual relationships who have been unable to have penile-vaginal intercourse despite wanting to do so? The focus of this paper is on answering the following questions: (1) what is the meaning of PVI? and (2) what is the impact of the inability to have PVI on the relationship and sex life of individuals in heterosexual relationships who have been unable to have PVI? The study involved semi-structured interviews with 17 individuals residing in Canada and the United States. Study findings indicated that although all of the participants expressed a desire to be able to have PVI, the majority described satisfying relationships and sex lives without PVI. However, even participants who described satisfying sex lives tended to view PVI as having special significance over other sexual activities. Implications for healthcare providers and future research are discussed.