Excruciating existential suffering and complicated grief: The essence of surviving the suicide of a son or daughter

Abstract

AbstractBackgroundSuicide is the fourth most common cause of death for the 15–29 age group. Research on the impact of suicide on parents is scarce and, therefore, poorly understood.AimTo explore parents' experiences who have lost a son or a daughter due to suicide and their experience of the services available to them.MethodsThis phenomenological study involved 1–2 interviews with ten parents aged 40–65, seven mothers and three fathers in all 13 interviews. The age range of their sons and daughters was 17–37 years when they died.ResultsFor the parents, losing a son or a daughter to suicide is an overwhelming life experience characterised by Excruciating existential suffering and complicated grief where they are confronted with deep meaning‐making and existential questions without answers since the person who can answer most of them is no longer alive. They, therefore, felt stuck in their grief for up to 4 years. The initial experience was an immense paralysing shock and sense of unreality. The subsequent period was a blur, and they were numb. Then, their psyche and bodies collapsed, and for a long time, they felt no grief processing was taking place. They sorely needed long‐term professional trauma‐informed support and felt that, in too many cases, they had to reach out for help themselves. They would have liked to see the healthcare system embrace them with more open arms, offer help and be met with information and individualised support.ConclusionsStandard operating procedures must be installed to support suicide‐bereaved parents better. Long‐term professional support and trauma‐focused care are required following such major trauma, and providing such support could help to reduce their adverse health impacts. Nurses and other health professionals must be better educated on existential suffering in this context.