Catullus and the Brothel-Creepers: Carmen 37

Abstract

Salax taberna vosque contubernales,a pilleatis nona fratribus pila,solis putatis esse mentulas vobis,solis licere, quidquid est puellarum,confutuere et putare ceteros hircos? 5an, continenter quod sedetis insulsicentum an ducenti, non putatis ausurumme una ducentos irrumare sessores?atqui putate: namque totius vobisfrontem tabernae sopionibus scribam. 10puella nam mi, quae meo sinu fugit,amata tantum quantum amabitur nulla,pro qua mihi sunt magna bella pugnata,consedit istic. hanc boni beatiqueomnes amatis, et quidem, quod indignum est, 15omnes pusilli et semitarii moechi;tu praeter omnes une de capillatis,cuniculosae Celtiberiae fili,Egnati, opaca quem bonum facit barbaet dens Hibera defricatus urina. 20Randy tavern and you tavern-men, nine pillars from the cap-clad brothers, do you think that you alone have pricks, that you alone are permitted comprehensively to fuck whatever girls there are and to consider the rest of us goats? Do you really think that, because you sit there, silly fools, one hundred or maybe two hundred in a row, I won't dare to mouth-fuck you as you sit there, all of you at once? Well, you had better believe it. For I will inscribe the front of the whole tavern for you with obscene graffiti. For my girl, who has fled from my embrace, beloved by me as no other woman will be loved, for whom great wars have been fought by me, has taken her seat there with you. Her all you great and rich men love, and – what is shameful – all of you cheap back-street lechers: you above all, you outstanding member of the long-haired crew, son of bunny-infested Celtiberia, Egnatius, to whom a thick beard and his teeth brushed in Spanish urine give respectability.