“Monogamy? In this Economy?”: Stigma and Resilience in Consensual Non-Monogamous Relationships

Abstract

AbstractMonogamous marriage, sometimes called “the bedrock of society,” still carries an apparent “halo” of moral superiority as a relationship structure. In contrast, consensual non-monogamous (CNM) configurations are stigmatized. Research indicates a connection between stigma, stress, and negative health outcomes, despite CNM comparing favorably with monogamy. The present study uses interviews to explore minority stress and resilience among individuals in CNM relationships. Participants experienced structural stigma as erasure, and interpersonal stigma as erasure and educational/emotional work. They also describe complex enmeshment between their relationship minority status and other aspects of their sexual and gender identities. Strategic disclosure and concealment were important management tools. Furthermore, managing individual (internalized) stigma was described as unlearning mononormative bias and surrounding oneself with supportive peers/allies. The strongest motivator for perseverance was the steadfast conviction that the advantages of CNM outweighed the challenges.