Feel the pain: Ability to up-regulate emotion facilitates forgiveness of betrayal

Abstract

Introduction: Romantic partner betrayal is a common and painful experience from which it can be difficult to move on. Forgiveness has been consistently identified as a key facilitator of healing following betrayal, both at the individual and relationship levels. As forgiveness has been consistently conceptualized as an emotion-focused process, this study aimed to examine emotion regulation ability as a potential predictor of forgiveness following romantic partner betrayal. Method: 51 women whose romantic partners had recently committed an act of serious betrayal against them completed an emotion regulation task while electroencephalography (EEG) data were recorded. They then reported how much they had forgiven that individual for the act of betrayal at a 6-month follow-up. Results and Discussion: The ability to up-regulate emotional responses to negatively valenced stimuli was associated with higher levels of forgiveness at follow-up, furthering the notion that healing from trauma requires active engagement with distressing feelings.