Commensal Careers at Entry into Marriage: Establishing Commensal Units and Managing Commensal Circles

Abstract

Commensality is eating with others, and marriages are among the most significant commensal relationships. We collected qualitative data about commensality and entry into marriage from twenty couples using two in-depth interviews, the first at about the time couples entered marriage and the second about one year later. Commensal eating was an important component of the courtship process. Entry into marriage marked a transformation in people's commensal careers in which their marital relationship became their primary commensal unit. Meal commensality varied across the daily cycle: Many spouses skipped breakfast or ate breakfast separately, most ate lunch at work, and dinner was the main commensal meal. Greater marital commensality occurred on weekends than weekdays. Partners managed involvement in extra-marital commensal circles by combining their former eating networks. Kin were major participants in commensal circles, with friends, co-workers, and neighbors also included as eating partners. Overall, commensality was an important component of the way people ‘do marriage’.